Winter
by Baby Rose
Summary: Songfic about Zelda and her father. When she's seventeen, she remembers the winters she spent with him. But what about when she's lost everything? Can the memories bring her the same comfort? Winter by Tori Amos.


**_Winter_**

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            Winter fell heavily each year on Hyrule castle. The winter of my tenth birthday was no exception. It was one of my favorite seasons, especially as a child. It was always a season I shared with my father, so I held those memories close to my heart. It was that year before I met Link for the first time that was my last normal winter. All the ones that followed were drastically different, so the last one I had that was normal stuck out in my mind.

I got up one of those mornings, rolling out of my large bed with the vigor only a child can get out of bed with, and ran to the window, placing my hands on the sill. To my delight, snow was piled a foot high in my courtyard and was still falling in sizeable flakes. I squeaked a high-pitched note, clapped my hands, and ran out of my room, now thoroughly excited. Daddy would have to go out with me and play.

            Flying down the stairs in my pink nightgown, I found my father sitting at the table, eating breakfast calmly, which I could not comprehend. Had he not even _looked _outside? Bouncing up to the table, I was just about to start squawking about it when he started to speak, cutting me off.

            "Ah, Zelda, darling," he said smoothly, "you're finally awake. I take it you've looked outside?" I nodded vigorously in response. "Of course you have," he continued. "And I know you want to go play in it, so I suggest you go get dressed. You can't very well go out like that."

            A bright grin lit my face, and I became even more excited. Without a word, I turned around and headed for the stairs again, but was stopped when he called my name. Turning to face him, he said to me, "There are new boots for you in your closet to wear. And don't forget to put on your mittens. I'll wait out there for you."

            I nodded again, crying, "Okay, thanks Daddy!" and raced up the stairs.

_Snow can wait_

_I forgot my mittens_

_Wipe my nose, get my new boots on_

_I get a little warm in my heart_

_When I think of winter_

_I put my hand in my father's glove_

            Walking out in the courtyard with him, I felt invincible. Walking with my hand in his, I felt I could take on the whole world. Nothing stood in my way when my dad was around. We talked and laughed and played, and sometimes just enjoyed the silence of the snow falling. Of course, because I was ten, silence never lasted too long.

            I threw snowballs at him like crazy, trying to provoke a reaction from him and start a fight. It usually took ten to twelve snowballs, but I could finally get him to react with persistence. However, once my dad was provoked, I usually regretted the instigation. He had huge hands, which fit his huge frame, but that meant gigantic snowballs as well. That was the reason he waited until he got fed up with me, because he had such an advantage. But even with the cannon-ball style snowballs, I loved every minute. The streams of freezing water and pieces of slush melting down my back painfully slowly only fueled my hyperactivity. With each bomb that hit me, I let out a squeal and ran to a different corner of the courtyard, in an attempt to escape his flurry of attacks.

_I run off_

_Where the drifts get deeper_

_Sleeping Beauty trips me with a frown_

_I hear a voice_

_"You must learn to stand up_

_For yourself_

_Cuz I can't always be around"_

            Father always told me to stick up for myself. Although I was a princess, I still needed to learn self-respect, and he taught me that. If I was to lead Hyrule one day, I would need confidence in myself, and he was the one who instilled those values in me. I was young, so I didn't pay too much attention to what my personality was like, but as time went on his information would become incredibly valuable, even though in the future it didn't ring as true as he would've hoped for me.

            I continued to run around the courtyard, dodging my dad's continuous attacks, laughing while I did so. It was one of my favorite memories, especially with my favorite parent. I had always been a Daddy's Girl.

_He says_

_"When you gonna make up your mind?_

_When you gonna love you as much as I do?_

_When you gonna make up your mind?_

_Cuz things are gonna change so fast_

_All the white horses are still in bed_

Rolling up a huge snowball in my tiny hands, I ran around behind the pillars in the courtyard so he wouldn't see me, and threw it at him. He acted as if I had mortally wounded him, and fell over in the snow. Wondering if I had really hurt him, I ran over and hit my knees beside him, putting my hands on his body and shaking him.

            "Daddy!" I called. "Are you okay?"

            I got no response, and leaned closer to his face, studying it carefully and looking for any signs of life. Just when I wasn't expecting it, his eyes shot open, causing me to let out a scream, and he jumped up and caught me before I could run away. By this time I was giggling and squirming, and he hugged me close to his chest, growling his victory playfully in my ear. "You'll always be Daddy's Girl," he said to me. "No matter what happens."

_I tell you that I'll always want you near_

_Cuz things are gonna change_

_My dear_

That was my last good memory of a time with just my father and me. Spring arrived with flowers and a fresh start for the year, and time with my new friends became more important than my dad. I was also thinking about Link constantly, so my time was consumed with those thoughts as well. The more I grew up, the less being Daddy's Girl was important to me. But I reminded myself of his words, and hoped he knew I loved him just as much as before.

_Boys get discovered_

_As winter melts_

_Flowers competing for the sun_

_Years go by, and I'm here still waiting_

_Withering where some snowman was_

By the time spring was over, I was with the Sheikah. It was the last time I saw my family or Link until many years later. But while I was with Impa and the other Sheikah, my father was killed. It hit me hard, and I wanted to go back to Hyrule castle to be with my mother and attend the funeral, but I had to remain hidden. Ganandorf was talking control of Hyrule, and as I would later find out, he had been my father and mother's murderer. But I wasn't able to do anything about it. I just had to deal with it on my own. And as the years passed, the pain lessened with each day.

            By the time I reached the age of seventeen, I was forced to disguise myself as a man. I had to appear this way to Link, and every time I encountered him, I wanted to tell him the truth. About my real identity, and about how I really felt about him. But I never did.

            I remained Sheik to him until he died.

_Mirror, mirror_

_Where's the Crystal Palace?_

_But I only can see myself_

_Skating around the truth_

_Who I am_

_But I know, Dad, the ice is getting thin_

I was unable to reveal myself to him before he went to fight Ganandorf. If I had known he wouldn't survive the battle, I would've told him everything. But I didn't, and though he defeated Ganandorf, he died from his wounds shortly afterward. When I got there, he was already cold. I removed my mask right then, and I haven't touched it since. I screamed to his lifeless body my real name, rocking him in my arms and sobbing. I cried out my love for him, but the only things listening were the cold walls surrounding me. It seemed everything I ever loved was gone; never to be replaced. Ganandorf was defeated, and peace was restored to Hyrule, but peace within myself was nowhere to be found. I became bitter and closed off, not the queen I once wished I would be. I dreamed of being someone my subjects looked up to, and now I was just a cold ruler with no relationship to my people.

_When you gonna make up your mind?_

_When you gonna love you as much as I do?_

_When you gonna make up your mind?_

_Cuz things are gonna change so fast_

_All the white horses are still in bed_

_I tell you that I'll always want you near_

_Cuz things are gonna change_

_My dear_

It was during those years that I missed my father the most. I tried to remember what he'd said about having confidence in myself and being a good person, but I just couldn't bring myself to believe it. I could've used his advice and support more than ever during my time as Queen. I ruled efficiently, but not memorably.

            Most of my trouble was the feeling of loneliness that I couldn't defeat. I was all along, with no King, no husband, no parents. As I grew older and reached what should've been the golden years of my life, I felt more and more lonely, and less and less like a leader.

_Hair is gray_

_And the fires are burning_

_So many dreams on the shelf_

_You say I wanted you to be proud of me_

_I always wanted that myself_

While I was reaching the final years of my life, that last winter played over in my mind thousands of times. I pictured his face in my mind, and wondered what he'd have to say to me now if he were alive. I knew he wouldn't be proud, and he wouldn't be happy that I wasn't happy. But it was too late to change that now. _I'm sorry, Daddy,_ I thought so many times, hoping he would hear somehow.

            I was unhappy with life, and with what I'd done with mine. I was angry at the world and at myself, which was not a good mixture. When I was a child, I was so happy. What had happened to me? 

_When you gonna make up your mind?_

_When you gonna love you as much as I do?_

_When you gonna make up your mind?_

_Cuz things are gonna change so fast_

_All the white horses have gone ahead_

_I tell you that I'll always want you near_

_You say that things change_

_My dear_

Where was my daddy when I needed him so much?

_Never change…_

Where was Link to be my King?

I needed them so badly. But they were gone. Gone forever.

_All the white horses…_


End file.
